“The state takes over once the case has started,” Cocca said. If the young person who is the “victim” in this case wants to stop a prosecution, they can’t. For example, parents can leverage the current legal system to separate young people in relationships if one person is 18 years old and the other is underage. It’s hard to say who’s vulnerable, when our ideas about age and maturity are subjective. These protections have improved but are still far from perfect. Outdated concepts like the idea that statutory rape is only something men do to young girls have been swapped out in favor of the idea that statutory rape is something an adult does to a vulnerable younger person. Our legal understanding of what the age of consent should be is shaped by the moral viewpoints on sexuality at any given time. These laws, imported from England, focused not on rape but protecting the virginal status of young women who were seen as the property of men, specifically a father or husband. She says that the United States’ earliest statutory rape laws weren’t really about age but preventing out-of-wedlock sex. In her book, “Jailbait: The Politics of Statutory Rape,” she tracks the history of statutory rape - or sexual relationships that fall outside the law. In fact, there are entire sets of laws created to deal with age differences in sexual relationships known as “age of consent” laws.Ĭarolyn Cocca is a law professor at SUNY Old Westbury. She saw her parents’ intrusion as a violation of her privacy and agency that was uncalled for and embarrassing.įrom a law enforcement point of view, when sex is a factor, so-called age gap relationships can cross the boundary into crime. “Fifteen-year-old me was very upset that my parents and scary adult authority figures were picking through my sexts and taking me away from the person I thought I was in love with,” Adina said.Īt the time, Adina thought of herself as old enough to decide who and what was best for her. When they discovered that her boyfriend was almost twice her age, a legal adult, she said they reported him to the police.
“He had strong feelings for me just like I had for him.”Īdina’s parents didn’t see the relationship as she did. “Despite his shortcomings, the man I was with took good care of me,” Adina wrote in 2017 of the guy she met online.
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children defines grooming as “when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.” These relationships involve an adult taking advantage of a child’s limited worldview to make themselves seem like the “shining knight” or ideal romantic partner for a child or teen - so that the interaction does not feel coercive, but idyllic. But misconduct can also be subtle and slow-building. That’s obviously the case for high-flying financier Jeffrey Epstein, whose arrest last year for trafficking girls as young as 14 sent shock-waves through elite America. West said "I think that he got in early, I think he was smart."īut there really is only one way to see “age gap” relationships between young teens and adults that turn exploitative and/or sexual: as child abuse. Jenner’s brother-in-law, Kanye West, was asked if he felt the relationship was inappropriate in a 2015 Breakfast Club interview. He was speculated to have started dating Kylie Jenner in 2014, when she was 16 and he was 24 years old. There are high-profile couples that fit the extremes of this mold, like rap artist Tyga. In videos and on social media, people will often use the term “age gap couples” to describe pairings between individuals where one is significantly older than the other. Adina found herself living what she describes as a dual life, one where she communicated with the man she loved, and another where she kept her relationship a secret. Eventually the two said “I love you” and shared occasional sexts. They exchanged messages and texts, quickly growing closer. But underneath Adina’s surreal happiness was, in her words, “pure terror.” The guy was possessive, and she feared her family would discover the relationship she was hiding, because he was about 10 years her senior. Adina, whose last name we’re withholding to protect her privacy, was 15 years old and in the 10th grade when she met the man who would become her boyfriend online.
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